Who Knew?

I have made no secret about my general lack of understanding regarding math beyond the basics (read: algebra).  Well, lately, Katie has been struggling with just that and we have been sitting together for literally hours at a time working on this.  I am in awe of how much more patience I have for this type of thinking.  I don't ever remember giving it this much consideration in school.  I am sure it comes with being an adult and the very obvious desire to help my own child to succeed.  Yes, my brain literally hurts when trying to help figure some of this out but the fact that I have been able to spend the time with it and actually get some problems right is nothing short of miraculous.

Anyway, it made me think that it has been some time since I have had to use my brain like that, at least in an academic sort of way.  It also, despite the still ever-present frustration surrounding it, felt good.   I know.  Obviously, I have lost it.  Using my mind in an academic, critical thinking sort of way surrounding math actually felt good?  Can someone check to see if hell has frozen over?

Here's the other realization.  It turns out my mother, my teachers, and all of the studies that have probably been done about this very subject were, gasp, right!  Math does help develop critical thinking skills.  In some cases (mine) it also helps develop headaches and stress (interestingly enough that part was left out but I digress).  It may have taken me 20+ years to realize this but I think that is true of quite a few things you are told/taught when you are younger and think you know everything.

Mom?  Ms. Alexander?  Mr. O'Connor?  Ms. Drohan?  Are you reading this?

School On The Brain

Conversations with/ comments from Julia this morning:

 "Mom, I think if Mrs. H agrees, I am going to ask her if I can stay in for recess and work on my read to self journal.  I am nervous that I will not have time to finish it after my morning work and it is due on Friday."   Sometimes I think she has just the right combination of motivation and anxiety...other times I worry the anxiety/worry will overtake her. 

"Mrs. H has been very generous with our class recently.  For example, I needed to finish my Patriot/Loyalist writing so she gave me extra time when I finished my math worksheet."

"Mom, there is a fourth grade student on my bus who can be verbally abusive!  She is always swearing and she made a little second grader cry!"

"I am not looking forward to art class today.  Last week, we were very rude to Mrs. W when she was teaching us. "  When I asked Julia if she was being rude she said, "Of course not but when Mrs. H talked to our class after art she said," I am very disappointed right now."  That means she is mad at all of us because if she was only disappointed with a specific person or people she would have only spoken to them not the whole class."

Things I learned this morning:

1.  Julia had school on the brain.

2.  After every conversation I have with Julia I realize more and more how adult-like she sounds, despite being 9 years old.  It's interesting, sometimes funny and sometimes worrisome.

3.  I am continually amazed with her ability to use phrases and words that seem beyond her years appropriately in sentences...verbally abusive, specific person, for example, etc.

The Three C's

When something is so frustrating it takes just the mere mention of it to get your blood to the boiling point, how exactly do you calm down enough to stay sensible?  I often thank God for my calm, cool and collected nature but even I get to a point where I just want to hit things.  Hard.  I guess that is where the three c's come in...I feel like hitting things but I don't actually do it.  Meditative music, getting outdoors, and every once in a while a good cry does the trick.  Sometimes it is just facing the problem head in in an "I am woman hear me roar" kind of way.  Admittedly, though this is probably not therapeutic in the healing sense, sometimes, it is just ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away on it's own.   It never usually does.

Donuts?

I have symbolic dreams all the time and I love to look up their meaning.  Most of the time the symbol in the dream is glaringly obvious...sometimes it is something that doesn't seem to belong or is out of place, sometimes is it just such a strange thing to dream about, and sometimes whatever symbol it is flows with the dream perfectly and is a key piece in the dream.  I have never once had a dream in which the symbol was not relevant in some way to my waking life.  

Last night, I had a dream that otherwise was not significant but quickly flashed to a table with an assortment of donuts on it.  I knew the donuts were a symbol, and I was right.   It still surprises me, though it happens all of the time when a dream matches up perfectly with my waking life. 

"To see a doughnut in your dream represents the Self. It suggests that you may be feeling lost and still trying to find yourself and your purpose in life. Alternatively, it refers to growth, development and nurturing. You are not yet completely whole."

Dream

Last night I had a dream in which the main symbol was a desk.  That was pretty much the only relevant part of the dream but here is what it means to see a desk in a dream:  To see or sit at your desk in your dream suggests that you are evaluating and weighing your problems. It is indicative of self-exploration and discovery.

Interesting. 

Scheduling Sanity

Sometimes, I wonder how it is all supposed to fit in while still trying to eat dinner at a normal hour and getting Julia to bed by 8:30 or so.  I don't think my kids are over scheduled.  Emily has work and Girl Scouts (STUCO when her schedule allows which is not often), Katie has Girl Scouts and basketball, and Julia has dance and Girl Scouts (basketball is not looking like something she will be sticking with but that remains to be seen).

I just went through the February calendar to "plug in" swimming with Julia where we could fit it in.  On the weeks that Ryun works the late shift it will be all but impossible.  Even on the weeks where he is early the only time would be right after school (which is when I usually start cooking) and even then we can't go Tuesdays or Wednesdays.  I have my meetings on Tuesday and she has dance on Wednesday which means she does homework right after school because she doesn't get home until just after 8.   Let's not even talk about the amount of homework she gets.  She has Spelling and/or ELA as well as Math nightly.  In addition she has to read for 25 minutes then answer a question in her reading journal AND spend 15-20 minutes practicing multiplication and division.  Really? This is third grade (thank you Common Core and standardized testing).

Emily would also like to use the Y but that will be on weekends only because of her work schedule.  She doesn't get home until 6PM or so.  Starting next week with the new semester starting at MHS she will have three classes (ELA, History and Spanish) in which she will have homework.  She had an "easy semester" for the first half of the year which involved little to no homework.  Basically, she will be coming home, eating dinner and doing homework.   If she has any free time after that, it will be too late in the evening to visit the Y.  Katie, for the most part, should be able to join Julia and I when we go.

I have all but given up on the idea of the five of us sitting down and eating together during the week.  The weekend is much easier in that respect but otherwise it would take an act of God, or us sitting down at 9PM on some nights which is past Julia's bedtime and pretty close to Ryun's, especially if he is working early (4:30AM wake up).  Nevermind eating together...if I am going to the Y after school, and shuffling kids to and fro, when the heck am I going to cook it?  I am a big fan of the crock pot but even that gets old sometimes.

So how on earth do people do this?  Especially single parents who also work (I am in awe of you by the way).  Being at home during the day is nice in some respects but it really has little to no benefit on the other end of the day when all of the craziness starts.  I don't even know how it will all come together when I do get a job, unless my some miracle I find one that is part time, flexible and/or work from home.

What tips and tricks do you have for managing it all?

Say What?

Last night was one of those nights.  I couldn't shut my mind off, couldn't get comfortable and probably slept for a total of two hours.  These nights are a blessing in disguise.  Sleeping wise, they are awful but these nights always coincide with my most telling dreams.  Last night was no different.

  The dream started with Ryun and I talking in the kitchen.  I was telling him about the weird headache I had.  It was  almost like it was behind my ear but not like an ear infection.   It was intense pressure and almost felt like something was lodged in my head.  He didn't have any idea what it could be.  As we were talking, clear liquid, with the consistency of Vaseline starting pouring from my ear.  By pouring I mean a faucet on full blast.  I was sitting there, perfectly calmly, catching it in my hand as if this happened everyday.  The more that came out, the better my head felt.

I am getting pretty good at interpreting my dreams with out having to look them up.  I knew the minute I woke that this dream was symbolic in the sense that the ear fluid that was draining at impressive speed was indicative of all of the negative thoughts leaving, making room for the the positive to come in.  When my ear was full and the pressure in my head was intense it was preventing me from hearing something...the something being the positive thoughts and "I am" statements.

I love when my dreams "talk to me."  It happens frequently and is I think the time that I am most in tune with myself.